I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
