That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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