She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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