Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
