What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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