therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
