you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize