i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
