one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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