so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
