before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
