needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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