Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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