they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize