Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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