I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
