it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
