He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
