Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
