question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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