sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
