either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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