she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
