i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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