My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
