Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You are a genius and a whore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
