don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
