break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
