I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
