watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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