"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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