You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
