This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
