Define "chronic" masturbator.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
