So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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