Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my shit smells like andre
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
