they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
