one two three fourrrrnication!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
