Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize