Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
