You were right. It hurts to walk today.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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