It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
