I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
