Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
where does the pee come out of this thing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
