I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
