i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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