so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
