I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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