Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
