PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
you never un-have a 4some
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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