Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
