Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
