yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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