So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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