I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
