We're facebook friends in real life
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
