May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
