What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
