are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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