Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
