3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
